Most online dating sites are excellent resources. But don't use that as an excuse to turn your brain off. Read our reviews, snoop around on various sites for free, and if possible, get a recommendation from a friend. Even after you sign up, make sure you have all your preferences arranged the way you want them.
Many dating sites have their billing set to auto-renew. Turn it off! Mark your calendar when your membership's almost up. Chances are, they'll give you a reminder anyway. If you don't turn it off, you're going to see it on your credit card bill every month like clockwork.
Some sites tell other members who has viewed their profile. Check to see if your site does this, and if it bugs you, there should be a way to put yourself into stealth mode. If that sounds sneaky, well, they made you do it.
For your own protection, make sure the sites you join have a privacy policy, guaranteeing that they won't reveal any information about you to anyone without your say-so.
Concerned about credit card fraud? To feel safe, you can choose a site that's been around a while and has made a name for itself, or go on a recommendation from a friend. If you're really paranoid, some sites will let you mail in a check or money order to pay for your membership. My instinct is not to worry about it. I'm no expert in Internet security, but I've been using a credit card to buy stuff online for years, from all kinds of places, and so far, so good. I also can't think of anyone who's ever told me that he or she had been robbed this way. Plus, your credit card company limits your fraud liability to $50. Finally, online merchants are fined when their consumers complain to their credit card companies, so usually an email or a call to the 800 number (which has to be included with an online charge on your credit card bill) will resolve an dispute in your favor. Just to be on the safe side, always save the billing (and cancellation) confirmation emails that accompany online purchases.
You.
In profiles and emails, make sure that nothing you write is likely to be taken in the wrong way. Email is especially notorious as a breeding ground for misunderstandings. Acronyms like "IMO" (in my opinion) and emoticons/smileys help, but don't rely on them. It's not as if putting "LOL" at the end of a sentence automatically makes anything you write in that sentence A-okay.
The anonymity of the Internet often lures people into a false sense of safety, causing them to sometimes be more emotionally intense than they would in a one-on-one situation. Don't come on too strong. Playing a little hard to get often works wonders. Resist the urge to flame someone who pisses you off. Before you write anything, ask yourself if it's something you'd feel comfortable saying to someone in person. Remember that email exaggerates everything.
Your Prospect.
If a woman seems to be extremely forward and flirty, she might just be a porn model or camgirl trying to lure you to her site, or a prostitute trying to get clients. Steeler17, a 30-year-old straight male from New Jersey said, "The telltale sign is always that they want your email address first thing or on first contact. Regular women are usually much more cautious."
If your date can't stop talking about his/her ex-partner or ex-spouse, either there's a torch still burning, or for some reason this person's just not ready to move on.
Sometimes you've politely told a prospect that you're not interested, but s/he persists in emailing you. If ignoring them doesn't work, most sites give you the option of blocking a member from contacting you.
Don't assume that anyone's telling the whole truth about who they are. Mr. K said that he found guys pretending to be girls, and girls pretending to be guys on Craig's List. Although I know you never would, because I told you not to, many people do lie in their profiles. Mostly, women reduce their weight, and men inflate their height. Some folks say they're single when they're really married, or divorced when they're separated, and so on. If something seems fishy, don't outright accuse the person of lying, but do a little nosing around to see if you can get at the truth. If you meet and it's obvious you've fallen prey to a bait-and-switch, it's up to you whether you can see past the deception.
Here are some ways to tell if a prospect is secretly married (I'm using a male example, but just for grammar's sake): Even though you've corresponded or talked for a while, he still won't give you his home phone number (just work or cell). He has strict rules about availability, like only wanting to meet during the day on weekdays. He only pays with cash (this is a good idea for being anonymous on a first date, but eventually he should loosen up). He always turns off his cellphone when he's with you (so as not to get a call from the wife). Sure, you can do some private investigation of your own if you're suspicious, but if there's that big a trust problem, maybe you should just move on.
If that promising someone seems to be ignoring you all of a suddent, whether in email or IM, it's possible that she only has a trial/free membership and isn't able to respond. Don't take it personally, and for goodness' sake, don't burn your bridges by flaming them. They could enter her credit card information and be emailing you back within the next few minutes. Or they might not be interested, so let them go. Nagging just annoys people, rather than changing their minds. If someone suddenly stops keeping up their end of an email exchange, don't assume the worst. Maybe she just had a big crisis in her life. The sad truth is that it's easy to walk away from a cyber relationship and some people will choose to do so without the courtesy of telling you. I know this stings, but it's much better than having someone like this become a big part of your life. Move on. At this point hopefully you've learned that there are tens of millions of other single people online, many close by, hoping to meet someone like you.
